Age and Grace

About a week ago I was doing my lunges at the gym and they are hard! I was holding a 10 lb. dumbbell in each hand (I've always had strong arms and legs). On the last lunge I stepped forward and genuflected on my very tired legs, and in getting up I started coming back with my forward foot too fast. My legs were so tired that I couldn't straighten out the stationary one at all. I started going backwards and the dumbbells continued that motion. I was falling backwards in slo-mo and I couldn't stop! I couldn't pick my foot up fast enough to get my balance back. I'm sure I could have stopped the backward motion had I just dropped the dumbbells, but no way was I going to do that! The floor is elevated in the weights area and sort of hollow so that when a weight is dropped it almost gongs loud and low--VERY! Anyone who doesn't have earbugs in turns to look and I absolutely couldn't have that. So I grimly clung to the dumbbells and managed to stop myself from landing flat on my back--it was more a very, VERY deep genuflection with a backwards slant. I let go of the weights the nanosecond they touched the floor so it wasn't a complete disaster. And I didn't hurt anything!

Even when it happened I thought it was funny and I can only imagine what it looked like. I would love to have seen film footage.....

Before ...

The family is starting our own Biggest Loser in July. I'm really ready for this. I absolutely need to lose more weight than I ever have in my life and the idea of my own support group is terrific. So I'm going to submit this as my before picture:



Actually, it's an "after" picture, as in "after 11 years." The car is my 2d Beetle (get over the "New" already! They've now been around 11 years!!) and while I loved my blue one, it was time to get a newer one. The color is much more sedate, which I'm not thrilled about. But it's a 2006 and only has 28K miles, so I was willing to take it, especially since the interior (black leather, very sexy) looks like it was driven by someone with no corporeal body. (I might just have used that word redundantly, but you know what I mean!) And it has an Audi engine with a lot of kick. So I really do like it. It'll take a little time to learn to love it, though, sort of like a pre-arranged marriage.

I'm in the house writing this because it's not nice out ... again. At least it's getting warmer, but everything is so wet. If we got a major wind, all the trees would fall over because the ground they're in wouldn't hold 'em. But as I look out my den window, I see my beautiful blue Siberian irises, and the white Siberians, too. Some bearded tongue is beginning to flower, and I realize I have to deadhead my cornflowers. Ah, summer.

And thinking of winter (nice segue, don't you think?), we're going to do a one-month snowbird experiment. For the month of March we'll be living in Crystal River, FL, with the dog and the cat. We had to have a pet-friendly place. I'm just glad the landlords didn't ask to meet the animals; Holly the dog is about 90 lbs. But both she & Susie the cat are older (almost 11 and 14 respectively) so they shouldn't be a problem. I'm very excited about this, because March is usually a miserable month here. Woohoo!

I guess I'll scan some more photos today. My endgoal is to scan all my pictures so I won't leave my daughters a million photos to sort through ... or not. I think they'll especially like our List family photos; there are such great memories. So Carla, stop blathering! Hitch up the scanner and get going. Okay. Okay!

You Should Live Here ... Really!

I've uploaded a very short video of our dam--Bruce really does think of it as his property and gets possessive when he sees other people walking their dogs on hisproperty! The video shows only one section of the dam, and I've watched that tree in the middle grow from a pretty small, scrappy little rock-clinger to a tree that's just full of itself. ;)

Yesterday was our only summer day so far. So I'm sharing.



Don't you just love the sound?

I'll put a pan of the whole dam below. Because I don't know when I'll get another day like yesterday. Last night I had to close all the windows again and the temp today, at almost noon, is 58, which was forecast as the high for today. (Okay, here comes the temper tantrum.) I'm sick of being cold! I want a week where I can leave the windows open overnight! I'd like that week to have no rain! My flowers aren't getting enough warmth and sunshine this year and it's making me very crabby! (End of rant.) So here's the video. Again, just the sound is so nice to my ears.

In Memoriam

My friend Tom died last night. He was the only male in our a cappella foursome, Eclectricity. He did almost all of our arrangements. He was a neat guy and I will miss him.

Tom's son died in early adolescence from muscular dystrophy and apparently that pretty much caused the break-up of his first marriage. But he married the only wife I've known, Jane, and she is one of the most remarkable women I'll ever meet. Their age difference is about the same as the gap between Bruce and me and we had interesting conversations about that. Both of us found so much better a man the second time around. And Tom adored her, couldn't have functioned without her. She saw him through to the end. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1998, I think, and had surgery. This was about 6 mos.-1 year before it was pronounced that most prostate cancers should just be left alone. Maybe things would be different if he'd gone to the doctor a year later; who knows. Tom had trouble from then on: bad after-effects from the surgery, the need for hormone treatments (we all complained about hot flashes together!), etc. About 3 yrs. ago Jane made one statement that the cancer had metastasized to his bones, and then we didn't hear about it at all. I guess he told Rachelle that denial could work wonders!

Tom & Jane moved to Florida, selling their beautiful house here, probably at a loss, and lived there for a year or two. But Jane hated it and they moved back here, in a smaller house--just as lovely. Tom had loved the personnel at the Moffitt Cancer Center at USF in Tampa, but transferred his treatment, which was apparently a little different from what was offered here, to the cancer center in Plattsburgh. And about six months ago he just got tired of it. He said he wanted to feel good once in awhile, instead of trying to survive the chemo and then getting "vacations" from it. So he said he'd let it go.

It went pretty quickly. He broke his neck, and I think that had already happened when Eclectricity got together for a group dinner in January. Tom and Jane were on the plane I was on in March when I returned from Tampa to Plattsburgh after Courtney was born; they had gone to visit Jane's father & stepmother. Jane said they'd spent the entire visit in the hospital because Tom was not doing too well. When the got on the plane to come home, Tom's broken neck disturbed the flight's captain and he kicked them off! Jane said she told that arrogant @*#&ole that she wouldn't risk her husband's well being but the idjit was adamant and they had to get off the plane. T(hey flew back the next day on a different airline.) It seemed to me that it went very quickly after that.

Eclectricity got together a few times at his house: about a month ago he could sort of sing with us, three weeks ago he made and effort but mostly listened, two weeks ago we sang around him, last week we sang to him, and yesterday in the hospital we sang to him again. I'm really glad we did that. Rachelle and Eileen, the other two Eclectricity women, said all the right stuff to him, I'm sure. I pretty much didn't say anything. He was completely oblivious, on a steady morphine drip to quell excruciating pain. But I didn't say anything. I wish I had.

Tom was funny. And he was a good friend. As Jane said, he was in love with all three of the Electricity women. I think he had adult ADD (not joking here) and it took awhile to get used to the fact that he started his sentences about 5 times before he completed them. His brain was already on to the next idea before his mouth could get out the first one. He could be a slave-driver about the music. But he had near-perfect pitch. He both hated and loved performing, and we women used to worry if he'd make it through any one number. But he always did, and I don't think the audience had a clue about nervousness. Our performances were pretty doggoned professional, I think. And fun. We rehearsed every week, almost always at Tom's, starting with a cup of tea (that was because of my addiction) and all our news. Sometimes it was hard to get to the singing part! But we did sing, and practiced and practiced and practiced. His beautiful baby grand piano got a workout, but mostly we sat around the kitchen table and sang. We have hand-written music for about 90% of what we sang, hand-written by Tom. He sang in Barbershoppers and he had another quartet--2 women and 2 men. But we three women were convinced he loved Eclectricity best.

He looked younger than he was and he had that beautiful, luxurious hair. When he lost it through chemo we all waited for it to grow back--he looked like Daddy Warbucks without it. And then when it did grow back there wasn't any gray in it still! Yesterday his crew cut was slicked down a little on his forehead and he looked like a little boy. An no wrinkles at 68.

So here's to Tom. Eclectricity was fabulous fun and I'll miss the singing tremendously. But mostly I'll miss Tom.

Good Day ... Mostly

I got my car today. I will, in the near future, post a pic of me with it, mimicking the photo I had Bruce take, almost exactly 11 years ago, of me with my first Beetle. Because this is my second Beetle. And it's not, sadly, blue. It's green. A very nice green, not the almost-chartreuse that's out now because it's a 2006, but a lovely, gentle green. With black leather (let's not go there) interior. Very sexy. Oh, I just got it. It's like me. Quiet on the outside, sexy on the inside. (That would be my very lame attempt at a joke. On myself.) But my first choice was blue. Second: pewter. And the fact that I wanted a manual transmission got me a green. How can anyone even say "Beetle" and "automatic" in the same sentence, for heaven's sake???

The reason I got a blue car when I got my first Beetle is that it was my first "divorce decision." That was the day I pretty much decided I would divorce my first husband. And I wanted a car that was so "not-Starla" that I picked a color I never would have before. And it was a gorgeous decision on many levels. The car looked like a jewel. Someone told me that. Honestly. I never wore blue. I wore green. But the green color wasn't available for at least a year and I wasn't willing to wait, not for just the color! So I picked "Bright Blue."

Then my hair started going seriously gray and blue "became" me. (As in, "That becomes you." I never did understand that comment. compliment?) And I have more blue in my wardrobe than I ever did before. Of course that means like one thing for summer and one for winter, but that's two more than in my previous life! And my blue Beetle did for me everything I needed it to do: It showed me I could make a decision alone that turned out to be a great decision. And my line at the time was that it made me feel as cute as it looked. It still does. It gave me a signature--people have said they're going to have to change their outlook to find me in a green Beetle! (And then when I un-hyphenate my name next year when my driver's license expires they'll have to adjust to that too!)

So now I'm green. I don't know how "green" this car is; I filled it today and will figure out the mileage when I fill next time. The old bluebaby really did average 30 mpg--28.5-31--so I was pretty happy. An acquaintance has a Honda hybrid that gets far better mileage, but ... it's not cute. And I've always been about appearances. You know that.

I will post that picture. I promise. But I just went to try to post pictures of my grandbabies and there's something wrong with that function. I think I'll just wait till next post and try again. Au revoir.

Mimi Time

I'm in Tampa and right this minute I'm babysitting Courtney, who's sound asleep and likely to stay that way until her mom & big sister get back from their errands. It's a tough job but I'll do it whenever asked! I'm here until Sunday, my visit a birthday gift from Pedro to Elise. We're all fast becoming true fans of Allegiant Air. Where else can you fly P'burgh<->Tampa for $29 each way? Well, $29 plus about a million "fees" added on but still, well under the $200 I used to think was the bargain basement. Even under the $158 I paid just once on some super sale.

Last night the temp hit 34 in Plattsburgh. (We broke a 42-yr. record one night last week when we hit 34. That's a record I don't like!) And now we did it again, although I'm not sure about the record this time. Aargh. We've tried so hard not to turn the furnace on after May 15, but have had to at least a couple of times; I think the last time was on May 31. Our house is actually a passive solar design--28" overhangs all around means that the winter sun, low in the sky, can shine in, but the spring/summer sun can't. That means in order to keep sweatshirts on their hangers IN JUNE, we turn the heat on in the early morning to get the house up to 68 because the sun can't accomplish this by 8 p.m. Then the furnace gets turned off again and we hope for a warmer night. When will this end? Our highs have only been in the 60s, once or twice into the 70s, with one freaky day at the end of April that it hit 90. Needless to say, I like this Florida visit!

And what beautiful grandgirls! Courtney is the essence of chill-baby, smiling, gurgling, eating, sleeping. No fussing that I've seen. And Kaitlyn is the opposite: on the go constantly, picking up nuances (typical first child), testing limits, trying to figure out if Mimi backs Mommy or caves to Katie. I'll be on my own with both of them tomorrow night as Pedro takes Elise out for dinner That actually should be fun for me.

I can't get over how much this grandmother thing agrees with me. Someone said that you learn about unconditional love when you become a grandparent and I thought, Oh, no, you love your own kids unconditionally. But it is different. When it's your own kids, you're helping them develop, helping them grow, teaching, learning. And while you love them unconditionally, they're still your job. When I became Mimi I discovered that it's just pure fun, pure love. I get to watch but not judge, to play without any goal outside of the moment. It is a blast. I'm hoping I get a boy grandchild at some point only because I want the opportunity to just watch. Having had only girls I'll be really interested in how it works with boys, and not have any responsibilites related to it!

Meanwhile Bruce is up in NY watching the Stanley Cup finals without me. I'll get to watch one game here after the girls are in bed on Saturday, and then will be home to share the yelling with him. That's fun too.

(Of course, when I'm home, there will be pictures to post!)