Quiet Christmas

It’s about 7 p.m. on Christmas and I’m relaxing with a nice big glass of merlot. We just finished a dinner of ham, mashed rosemary potatoes, corn, fresh fruit salad, whole wheat rolls, and key lime cheesecake. Delish. The dessert is a little non-traditional, I realize, but who the hell says I have to follow someone else’s traditions? Bruce will eat whatever whenever so tradition means little around here. And most of the time, I don’t mind that. When I do mind, I follow whatever tradition I need. It works.

Talking to my daughters was a delight today. Of course, I wish I could see them in the flesh but I do, just at a different time of the year. And if I pause long enough to stop mental whining and think about it, that means I have Christmases at those other times. The visits—here or there—are always gifts for me. I haven’t yet talked to my stepdaughters, but I’m guessing they’ll call tonight.

Tomorrow I’ll really have to apply myself to my editing. I’m at a point that I really dislike: I have to make all the tapes that I’ve already edited down from their original 30 min. recording time into 55-minute episodes that include a 45-second break, and wind up with an even number of episodes, if at all possible. So I experimented a bit with “deleting silence” in them, but I don’t know enough about the settings so that resulted in silences between sentences being eliminated, but not necessarily those betweeen phrases. Aargh. So I’m listening to the last tape ( I fervently hope) that I have to add silences to. (And I want NO snotty thoughts about the difficulty of adding silences to Carla. Clear?) Listening to myself is eternally boring (this means I’m learning what YOU have lived through all these years; you have my deepest sympathy!) but it’s absolutely necessary. And I guess it’s not such a bad idea to listen to the episodes before I turn them in, something I haven’t done in the past; I’ve managed to catch at least 5 places where I’d somehow left in the “read again” comment I make when I know I’ve made an error. So while it’s very tedious, the process means I’ll get a quality product, one I really will be proud of.

Christmas was kind of a non-event here this year. I decorated and we have a tree and all, but my seasonal cheer was at probably an all-time low. I don’t think I’m depressed or anything. I just had to hear canned Christmas music for far too long. And the stint at Borders left me by myself in the calendar kiosk: no one to make snide cracks to or to hear about their college life from. I don’t think I’ll do Borders next year and I’m guessing I’ll feel a lot more like Christmas.

But I received some nice gifts, and I do have the love of my family and friends. I hope your Christmas was as good as mine.

New computer

Well Merry Christmas to myself. I just got a new computer, a big, heavy laptop that has not too many bells & whistles. I got it mainly to take to Florida in March and therefore I got one big enough for Bruce to use. He says he doesn’t plan to go online at all while we’re in the Sunshine State, but he’s so used to spending pretty much his whole morning at the computer: on his “board” (an amazingly active bulletin board for fly rod fanatics) and eBay. I spend far less time connected than he does!

So this is a Dell Inspiron 1750. I wanted a 1720 but they were unavailable … anywhere, even at Dell. This cost the same and has a bigger screen. Nice for the graphics quality but it makes for a BIG laptop! It also has Windows 7 which seems, so far at least, to be an actual improvement to XP. This blog, for example, is one of the options on the dock (yes, it copied that from the Mac), which means I may actually write here more often.

For those who suggested I get a Mac, you’re probably right. But the one program I hope to use portably is my editing program for the audio tapes I make for the vision impaired. I would have had to buy the entire program in a Mac version and even then my tapes would probably not be compatible with those at the recording studio, which is all pc. So I’m sticking with Bill (Gates, that is).

I’m not going to write much more. I would like to get into the habit of writing here. And if it remains sporadic, I’d like to get to the less than widely-scattered-sporadic level, whatever that may be. Irregular, maybe?

So Merry Christmas to all who read this. It’s almost 3 p.m. on Christmas Eve. I hope your heart is happy.

Been Awhile

So I haven't been here for awhile. I'm not sure I can say I've been busy. It seems that the very short posts on Facebook have taken precedence. That's actually not good. They embody the "sound bite" idea and discourage people from really spending time expressing themselves. I think they might be competing with Twitter, although I've never been to or looked at Twitter, so I could be entirely wrong. Anyway, the sound bite seems to be replacing the paragraph in just casual online writing and that is definitely less than good. So anyway, I'm back.

One of the reasons for my presence is that I had an interesting conversation a few days ago. An acquaintance who I hadn't seen in a long time asked what I'd been doing the last little while (i.e., a year) and I had to stop to think. I realized that what I'd done for most of 2009 is be ... a full-time mom. I was a full-time mom for one year, the 1st year in P'burgh, but otherwise was working full-time and mom-ing the rest of the time. I went to half-time from '82-'85, so I was with the girls much more of the time, but never home full time except for that one year. And then again in 2009. And this time I have 4 girls to deal with: 2 stepdaughters in addition to my 2 daughters. There were cases of depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, pregnancy-induced hormones, emergencies of abrupt closings of homes, situations of NOT closing on homes, major moves across country, emotional crises, fallout of some of the above, etc. Think of that "etc." as in the King & I, with Yul Brenner saying, "Et cet-era, et cet-era, et cet-era." So now I don't feel so guilty about what I've "accomplished" in the last year.

What people who are working don't realize is that a life does not depend on what you "accomplish" in a year. Retired people begin to understand that "production" is not necessary. It was a slow realization for me. (I'm guessing this is true for others.) But I now know that my life is not lived in an ant colony where not producing means elimination. I "accomplish" things by devoting my time to helping a child--or step-child--get through a momentary situation where I truly can contribute. I can contribute time doing something or time listening and counseling. What's neat is that I don't care whether the girls take my advice or not. They're all adults. They make their own decisions. I can give them advice from my age-superior vantage point. But my life experience doesn't match theirs, so my advice may not obtain.

So anyway, realizing that made me feel much better. I really haven't "done" much. I haven't added to my garden, I only adjusted; I haven't created a lot of pieces either sewing or doing x-stitch, but my hands can't take a lot and I've learned to accept that; I started with the Oratorio--now Champlain Valley Voices--but couldn't perform at the concert because I missed too many rehearsals, but I'm becoming the Treasurer so there. It's been a full year even if I don't have a lot to put on paper about it.

Enough philosophizing.

More Nova Scotia thoughts, etc.

These are the things I wrote down while in Cape Breton. They're not in chronological order or any kind of order for that matter. Just things that caught my mind.

* Road signs in Maine, two yellow diamonds--top large, bottom significantly smaller.

Main St. Closed
Use other end

* Wolf spider on my arm in the kitchen. Hairy kind. I brush it off and it drops on a web rather than just falling off. Hard time disconnecting it from my sleeve. I thought of Jenny.

* Three-day trip from Cadyville because of a blown alternator only 160.7 miles after starting. Amazing luck finding another alternator for Bruce's 1988 van, our transportation mode. (Don't get me started on that.)

* Half of 30-mile stretch on "grooved pavement" (read: blacktop removed and nothing put back yet). No line markings. Driven at night, valiantly, by Bruce with me white-knuckling for him. That van has headlights like candles--and he says so.

* Carmel (Bruce's friend, a terrific Cape Bretoner of Irish heritage): "One night I took an unbearable pain."
And about one of her brothers (I think she said she comes from 13): "If he wants to shovel his dirt outside he'll just have to ...." I can't remember the rest of the phrase.

I love to listen to her talk; her regionalisms are all new to me and so interesting, as is she.

* Mackerel fishing--caught about 14, kept 9. (This was the first day I fished.)
Beautiful fish: fast silver flash in the water, mottled blue and green on top with irregularly-shaped black stripes.

* Cluster flies. Aargh. Using a shop vac to suck them up makes me feel like Darth Vader with a light sword.

* I opened fridge and went to get butter out of the door compartment. There was a (non-hairy) wolf spider on the compartment door! (I figured out later that the spider probably got there when the fridge had the door propped open since J&S had closed the place for the winter.)

* Eagle flying overhead as I walked along the North River with the dog. The eagle was harassed by a very brave crow but it scared a murder of crows from their roosts anyway.

* Moose poop on the road about 100' from the driveway. Looked fresh ... and it looked just like the candy called "moose poop."

* Caught 12 mackerel today. Some were pretty big!

* I must be into poop: bear poop about 100' from the house today. It's definitely fresh, most likely from earlier this a.m. I'm glad we're on our way out!

And now I learn that no one develops 35mm film locally. I dropped the film at Walmart and will be able to get the prints in ... Friday of next week? So maybe pictures then.

Cape Breton, Nova Scotia

I'm an A-One Mackerel Fisherperson, according to Bruce. That was our main fun on this trip to Cape Breton. I'm hoping Bruce got a good photo of me holding one of the many mackerel I caught (12 one day!). But since our camera broke right before we left I have no digital photos and the 2 cameras we did have use 35mm film which I'll take to get developed tomorrow. It appears that Target is the only place left in my little town that works with film. Geez. So we'll see...

Meanwhile, Cape Breton is still its beautiful self. Probably the best feature of the island is its people, all of whom are friendly and (like most Canadians) so polite. We stayed at our friends' house, John & Sue, on the southeast side of the island. They live in P'burgh but have bought the place in N.S. as a summer place. I do not know of anyone else who would choose Plattsburgh as their winter place! And I compare it to being at camp. (For any non-NY/Eastern U.S. readers, a "camp" here is much like a "cottage" elsewhere but it doesn't have to have waterfrontage.) There's running water, which means a flush toilet, and electricity--unlike the camp I used to have in the Adirondacks. Heat comes from a kerosene heater and I'm somewhat allergic to the fumes, i.e., headaches. But it can be quite cozy when the weather is typical Scottish weather, meaning cold mist/drizzle/rain, and that was what we had for several days this time. (Bruce goes up every year and the only other time I've gone along was 2 yrs. ago.)

I do have to tell you about mackerel, though. First, they're a lot of fun to catch. I don't fly fish--Bruce is an expert and I get all tensed up about doing it right, even though HE doesn't care--but I've done spin casting pretty much forever and what's handy about mackerel is that they won't hit a fly for love or money but give 'em a 1-oz. lure and they're hooked! They hit nicely and then fight, swimming hard back and forth to try to shake the hook. When you pull them in they manage to unhook themselves pretty regularly, which makes it easier on the person(s) in your party who are willing to get slimed and covered with scales. Bruce volunteered so that I could just catch fish and it was a ton of fun.

Then, mackerel are beautiful. I don't think this photo really does justice to how pretty they are. Apparently they get more color as they're out of water for awhile; I know that looking down into the bucket I saw gorgeous cloudy mottling of blue and green. The irregular black stripes just add to their camouflage from above--it must outwit eagle-eyed eagles, I'm sure. And we did see eagles. Anyway, when you catch a mackerel, it flashes in the surf just beautifully--it is solid bright shiny silver from its midline down, so you feel like you're landing a sterling silver fish. They are pretty oily so it's not a fish I'm willing to cook indoors, but they're tasty so I'll keep one package of fillets and grill them. The rest go to John & Sue; they usually bring home up to 75-80 fillets but John was ill and couldn't fish this year.

Oh, for you fisherpeople? I did say 1-oz. lure. Actually the guys--mostly old farts--around me were all using 2-oz. lures but my rod couldn't handle that, Bruce said. And I probably would've dislocated something casting with something that heavy. But one guy told me that my 1-oz. was okay because the fish were being caught as close in as I was casting--the 2-oz. guys had to do a lot more reeling! So I did have fun.

But Bruce didn't get to fish very much. His targets are wild Atlantic salmon and Cape Breton is one of the few places left in the world where those fish come every year. Not so many, anymore, but they do come back. But with the rain, and then winds, his rivers were pretty much unfishable. We did go to "the other side of the island," to the Margaree River, world renowned for its salmon but he didn't fish it. It was a disappointing trip for him. And the ride home (it's 850 miles each way) was L O N G.

I'll try to get some photos to add to this--if they turn out, I'll edit this and add them in a few days. I'd like to go back to go all the way around the island again, and spend some time on the N.S. mainland too, in Halifax and Digby, etc. This trip is sort of a "working" trip for Bruce: fishing is what he's there to do so touristing around doesn't happen much. Maybe in a few years I'll go back; I told Bruce he's like the salmon. Every year he says this is his last year for the trip, but Cape Breton waters just call him back again and again.

Whew!

Boy, has this been a summer! These are things that made it into photos, or at least onto my calendar so I wouldn't forget to be somewhere at a particular time. (Y'gotta LOVE retirement.)

In June I gave what I thought was my last workshop, only to get a booking for May 2010. Sweet. June was also "Fireman's Day" in beautiful downtown Cadyville (which has only a post office and (volunteer) fire station--we don't even have a bar!) with parade and good food.



In July, my sister came to visit and we played touristas to places I'd either never been or hadn't been for years. Here's Alice at the Montreal Botanical Gardens. What a great visit.



Shortly thereafter I was in Omaha for a family emergency. No photos of that. Toward the end of the month Bruce & I went to Fort Ticonderoga, a trip he'd never made and I hadn't since my kids were about 9 & 10. (That would be about 20 years. Sigh.)



In August, both my daughters and both granddaughters came for a visit. Jenny isn't in this photo, but she stayed at her dad's so I didn't get many pictures of/with her.



In September, Bruce & I went to the NY State Fair in Syracuse. That was really fun, and another thing to cross off our bucket list. The photos below show the sand sculpture of the USS New York, apparently a trademark at the fair; Bruce with one of the huge warmblood horses in its stall; a small part of the miniature circus displays that just fascinated me; and a sort of overview of the fairgrounds.






Right after that there was the "Battle of Plattsburgh" quadricentennial celebration, with a re-enactment of the famous battle on Lake Champlain (in absolutely tiny and fragile-looking wooden boats), a period 18th century tavern, a big parade--for once--and fireworks. Quite the do for Plattsburgh. These are some of the re-enactors.




I also went to Tampa in September to babysit for the aforementioned grandgirls for 7 days & nights (that would be a whole week). Babysitting was just about what I'd expected. Only more tiring. Having been a working mom, I'd never really spent all day every day with the girls when they were babies. The first year in Plattsburgh, when I was home full-time, Emily was 3 & Jenny (who was too young then to vote against my desired Jennie spelling) was 18 mos., turning 2 midway through that year. So while I had one in diapers, she was mobile. Emily's house is two storeys as compared to my one-level and my knees got a real workout on the stairs! I actually got good a carseat straps and by the time I left I was getting Katie into hers without bumping her head ... or mine. The van with all the bells and whistles was nice, especially the start-before-you-get-to-it feature so the air conditioning was already working when I buckled up the girls. In 90+ degrees, that was a godsend. And so was the swimming pool! Everybody cooled off after a hot afternoon and everybody also got good and tired so bedtimes were a snap! I actually enjoyed myself but am considering the next job--I'm not so sure I'm up for a full week again. After all, we'll ALL be a year older then! But how could you not have a great time with this?




And now I'm packing to go to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, for two weeks.
No kids involved. Unless you count the dog. This is what it should look like again--the photo is from Oct. 2007.

It might get a little tedious when Bruce is gone fishing every day, but this year there are some other Plattsburgh women there with their husbands and I've been invited to join them for some day trips. That should be fun.

I think I'm ready for a do-nothing November!

Low Night

I'm feeling very fat tonight. Yes, I know I'm loved and liked and appreciated. But that doesn't take away the fact that I feel fat tonight. And last night. And today. And I know I'm not obese. But I want to lose 20 lbs, need to lose 20 lbs. (My doctor: "You're overweight.") And I've upped my exercise--I'm either walking or at the gym doing strength training 6 days out of 7 most weeks.

But I have to eat far less than I do. And I really don't want to do that. I know it's under my control and that no one can do it for me. But I thought I was doing most things in moderation. Apparently not.

And I cook for my husband, who can barely boil water without written instructions, each step numbered. I do make healthy meals; I just eat too much of them. I'm going to have to start using a sandwich plate at dinner. Boy, that sounds really exciting. I could go back on the South Beach Diet. That worked for me and I still lean that way, staying away from starchy carbs. Getting back off the sweet things again is clearly necessary.

See? I know what I need to do. I'm trying to find a way to do it. First rule has to be NPO from after dinner on. Except for water or diet soda.

Okay. Done whining for tonight.

Best news of the day? I'm not hungry right now. And next time I'll post about our State Fair trip. With pictures.