Been Awhile

So I haven't been here for awhile. I'm not sure I can say I've been busy. It seems that the very short posts on Facebook have taken precedence. That's actually not good. They embody the "sound bite" idea and discourage people from really spending time expressing themselves. I think they might be competing with Twitter, although I've never been to or looked at Twitter, so I could be entirely wrong. Anyway, the sound bite seems to be replacing the paragraph in just casual online writing and that is definitely less than good. So anyway, I'm back.

One of the reasons for my presence is that I had an interesting conversation a few days ago. An acquaintance who I hadn't seen in a long time asked what I'd been doing the last little while (i.e., a year) and I had to stop to think. I realized that what I'd done for most of 2009 is be ... a full-time mom. I was a full-time mom for one year, the 1st year in P'burgh, but otherwise was working full-time and mom-ing the rest of the time. I went to half-time from '82-'85, so I was with the girls much more of the time, but never home full time except for that one year. And then again in 2009. And this time I have 4 girls to deal with: 2 stepdaughters in addition to my 2 daughters. There were cases of depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, pregnancy-induced hormones, emergencies of abrupt closings of homes, situations of NOT closing on homes, major moves across country, emotional crises, fallout of some of the above, etc. Think of that "etc." as in the King & I, with Yul Brenner saying, "Et cet-era, et cet-era, et cet-era." So now I don't feel so guilty about what I've "accomplished" in the last year.

What people who are working don't realize is that a life does not depend on what you "accomplish" in a year. Retired people begin to understand that "production" is not necessary. It was a slow realization for me. (I'm guessing this is true for others.) But I now know that my life is not lived in an ant colony where not producing means elimination. I "accomplish" things by devoting my time to helping a child--or step-child--get through a momentary situation where I truly can contribute. I can contribute time doing something or time listening and counseling. What's neat is that I don't care whether the girls take my advice or not. They're all adults. They make their own decisions. I can give them advice from my age-superior vantage point. But my life experience doesn't match theirs, so my advice may not obtain.

So anyway, realizing that made me feel much better. I really haven't "done" much. I haven't added to my garden, I only adjusted; I haven't created a lot of pieces either sewing or doing x-stitch, but my hands can't take a lot and I've learned to accept that; I started with the Oratorio--now Champlain Valley Voices--but couldn't perform at the concert because I missed too many rehearsals, but I'm becoming the Treasurer so there. It's been a full year even if I don't have a lot to put on paper about it.

Enough philosophizing.